Multiplicities

The men in my head
Fuse inside and on
I want them all.
This sweetness, that boyhood, this other intimacy, that other sex.

I feel them all on me
At the same time.
One’s groove, two’s calmness, three’s intensity, four’s hunger.

I crave for one and for all
I am completely theirs.
A’s eyes, B’s poise, C’s admiration, D’s cumplicity.

They’ll never know
How much I Love them all.
Love is universal and complete

This is not a tie,
This is not arresting
My holding them into my arms
Will never hold them back.

My head
In my lowly-lit orgy
Holds me in their arms
Sings me to sleep in one of their voices
Listens to me with other’s intense eyes
Attentive eyes
And I smell another.
At the same time the timid touch of the boy’s hands cover me in naught

But the taste is the one I don’t want to remember
The one I’d deny all my principles for
Inconditional, unlimited delight
The one I did wrong by doing him right.

This fusion is driving me mad
I want one in reality
Not twenty in mind
Give me one, I’ll trade them all off

...But which?

2010. Winter.